Holding pattern

Obviously I have not written a blog for a very long time. Since the crash of my laptop, my cyber world has become minimal. In a way it has been a good thing and in many other ways it has been a huge pain in my side. School feels so distant to me right now. I am still taking classes, two on the Internet. I feel so defeated at times and yet I know I must persevere. The community college here in Houston does not make going to school easy, like going to school isn't difficult enough. I am walking through a fog right now, trying to find my direction again. I am finally at the point where I was in Oregon, ready to apply to a nursing program, and yet I feel so differently about the entire situation than I did a year ago. I question myself; "Am I really cut out for this? What if I don't get in? Can I do what is required of me?" I know how hard I can work and I know how strong I am, yet this past 18 months has knocked some serious wind out of my sails. This blog is about the whole story of going back to school, the good, the bad, and the ugly, so I guess today's blog is the ugly. How can one concentrate on school when you aren't even sure how you are going to feed your family? However, I realize deep within my core, that this is my calling, not school, but becoming a nurse. I knew it was going to be difficult, I knew it would take sacrifice, I knew I would have disappointment. It will all be worth it in the end, right? So for now I will keep drudging along the path, maybe my next blog will be my acceptance into nursing school! Maybe not....until then. Love!